They call it chemo brain, where the brain is in a fog, fading in and out. I'll be in my office trying to do a little work and I'll come around staring at my screen and wondering what was I looking for?
But it is past due time for an update.
The last post I wrote I was in my last chemo and had one more week of radiation therapy. The chemo was on Tuesday Jan 11th, so I completed that week in the basement every day getting zapped. Then a three day weekend. By Sunday my throat was screaming at me. I know there is a several day lag time between the treatment and the effects of the treatment. I had four treatments the next week. I started thinking, I've stopped for three days, why would I start up again and go thru what I just went thru for the three day weekend, again? When I went in that Tues the 18th, we talked to the Dr, who could not convince me that the last three days would make any definitive difference, other than the whole dose had been determined by experience, and divided into 35 bearable doses. The tumor had been gone since week three I think, now we were zapping the last of the cancer cells. After much prayer and discussion, Mary and I decided to stop. God had already taken care of the last of the cancer cells.
But that was the day (Tues the 18th) I was admitted to the hospital for three days due to dehydration and lack of nutrition. And my plumbing wasn't working so well due to the pain meds. So they hydrated me and sent me home with a new bagful of medications for helping me eat, drink, etc. I checked out that Thursday. Everyday the radiation Dr came in the ask me If I had changed my mind about the last four tratments, but I held my ground, I was three days into recovery and did not want to go backwards.
So we went home to work on those things mentioned above.
Day by day, ever so slowly, I drank more water, and most every day one of Mary's smoothies. I kept loosing weight. (I eventually went from 242 to 178. (I'm wearing my 21 year old son's bluejeans). But that was this past week.)) I lost about 10 lbs a week, nothing appealed to me. I had to eat so I did little by little, never enough. I'd have a fairly good day and be able to walk around a little, maybe to the mailbox. The next day laid down most of the day. I got so sick and tired of not being able to do anything. What was God working on?? What would he have me do? What was I supposed to be learning?
I have since learned that he did not want me to 'do' anything, only rely on Him to heal me. He was teaching me to have patience.
At one point I had an appointment with the chemo Dr, I was so tired and sore I rode in in a wheelchair. That's when she told me the recovery would take 6 weeks. Up to now I was expecting a week! Thanks for the warning.
So I believe this week I have finally climbed out of the hole I was in. Both feet out and on the ground. My throat is still sore. I went surveying with Benj a couple more times, yesterday I even drove four property corner pins. Wore me out, but not as bad as the last time. I can work a full shift in the office. But I have to watch that I don't overdo it. Another thing God has taught me is to not be a workaholic, to spend time with Mary and the family. Rely on Him more for bringing in the work. If the Creator of the universe can heal me of cancer he can certainly give me enough survey jobs.
Thank you all for your many prayers and support. We would not have made it without you. But don't stop, we are still a long way from complete recovery. We are blessed daily as we continue to rely on Him. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, we have put ourselves in His hands.