Have you ever wondered why certain things happen?
Well, I have, and I wonder why I have cancer.
James 1:2 says to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds because the testing of faith develops perseverance, so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. And when we persevere under trial, when we have stood the test, we receive the crown of life that God promises to those that love him. We have all experienced the satisfaction of a job well done, how much more so when we withstand the test...
Then there is the objective point of view. Maybe the trial is not for us at all. Peter says to rejoice, in as much as we are partakers of Christ's sufferings. 1Peter 4:13. Oswald Chamber's interpretation of this:
If you are going to be used of God, He will take you thru a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, but are meant to make you useful in His hands, to enable you to understand what transpires in other souls so that you will never be surprised at what you come across.We never realize at the time what God is putting us through; we go through it more of less misunderstandingly; then we come to a luminous place, and say- "Why, God has girded me, though I did not know it!"
And, all things work together for good, for those that love God. Romans 8:28, more Oswald Chambers:
The circumstances of a saint's life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God is bringing you into places and among people and into conditions in order to bring them before God's throne and give the Spirit in you a chance to intercede for them. In this way God is going to sweep the whole world with His saints.
So it's not about me. God is using me, but not necessarily for me. I yield to his work. He is the Master Craftsman. I don't know where He is taking me, but I can't wait to get there. Yes I will waver. Right now I can talk a good talk. But just prior to my getting the results of my last scan I imagined my forgetfulness was brain cancer, eating away at my memory. Every bump or imperfection in my skin was the cancer coming out from my body. But the next day I was clean, test results negative. I am certain that there will be times I will waver. And I am also certain that this testing is not only for me but for those around me, my family.
When we left the hospital the last time, after getting the test results but also after talking to the chemo nurse, we were down. The scan showed several things to follow up on. The chemo went from three sessions total to eight total, once every week. Each chemo session takes 2-3 hours. I saw several men getting their treatments and was not impressed. As we began our drive home, a semi passed us and there was a sign on the back of his rig, a verse that told us He would be with us thru the end. A personal message, just for us. God is good, all the time...