First an update.
My tongue, mouth and throat were getting extremely tender, I thought it was from the radiation treatments. I could hardly swallow. My tongue was coated white, the white went on down my throat. Couldn't move my tongue around in my mouth. Very tough to swallow. I lost 5 lbs one week and 10 more the next. I thought, if it's this bad in week 4, what will I do in week 7? The Dr was worried.
He said "next month is when you lose 15 pounds in two weeks, not now."
I had a thrush infection. And the pills he gave me did the trick. A week later and my mouth is better, my throat is not so sore, I have gained 5 lbs back. I think I'll make it again.
God was showing me what week 7 will be like, and then what it will be like as I recover.
But as I suffered, I received several more insights in what He was doing. He is sending me into the desert. Taking away things I am used to, all my creature comforts. Just like He did to Moses, Paul, and Jesus. Time to forget about everything else and dwell on Him. Kind of like throwing yourself back on the hammock in the warm sun and having it hold you up and swing you in the breeze. Relying on the Ropes of the hammock and that's all.
He is definitely getting my attention.
I met Seeta in the chemo lab. She takes my blood sample on chemo days. Knows a lot of verses. She's been reading the Word for a long time. I have some great conversations with her, but always too short. She is an Encourager to me. When I meet brothers and sisters in the hospital, I wonder what it would be like if all of them were open about their faith like Seeta. How many are there? What an encouragement that would be!!
Most of us are afraid to let people know we are Christians. 'What will they think?'
Oswald Chamber says "If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can." This would hold true on any subject, but he is talking about scripture. "If you do not, someone will be poorer all the days of his life." Start speaking what truths He has taught to you to yourself. Then tell it it to someone you know. Practice thinking it through in your own mind. The more often you tell your story the more comfortable it becomes.